Phonometrologist's audio Reviews on Newgrounds

[the world passes you by]

What to say that hasn’t already been said? I don’t really have much to offer in my words, but I felt compelled to at least say something while I listen to this.
I first heard this last week, but I don’t like giving comments on stuff upon first listen. I returned to it today, obviously, and I remember thinking that the transition part was a nice surprise. There seems to be two “songs” pieced together, but not in a way where they don’t belong either.

The production of this is nicely done-- I can imagine hearing the section at 4 minutes on tv for some advertisement really. I mean that in a good sense as well.
The piano section in the beginning is really chill, and it’s something that I can allow wash over me without having to follow too much the train of thought. Yes, very soothing to which I could just been fine without the latter stuff.
The best thing I can say about this is that it inspires me to want to get back to composing.

I feel you could have ended this two minutes earlier, though, because it is repetitive. There isn’t much new at the end that you haven’t already stated earlier in the piece. There! That’s one critique….eh who cares. I can live with it.

Interesting question in your comment section. What would I do? Be as I were I suppose. To be forgotten by this world is our destiny after we’re long gone anyway. But that doesn’t mean to be pessimistic either. It’s a fleeting life, and to a certain degree, this piece captures that tone.

johnfn responds:

Thanks for the review dude.

> two “songs” pieced together

I think I could possibly be taking some motivation from post rock here (I usually do), because those songs often join together many different (thematically linked) ideas into the same song.

> repetitive

Yeah, I'm always trying to strike a balance between too much and too little repetition. I think here there was a bit much, there definitely could have been more development in that second climax...

Again thanks for taking the time to write something here. I hope you do go back to composing ;-)

[Generic House Party]

Well just to check out something a little newer of yours, this perhaps would be more of a comment rather than a thorough analysis.

I actually like the sounds you have going for this-- the melody at 45 seconds in works well, and with that layered on top of your bass it creates a nice rhythm. About 3:20, you start to do a slight variation of that melody. Just want to encourage you just to go all out with varying up your melody. I feel almost like your hesitating as you're not sure if you might be moving away from the integrity of the piece if you do too much. But I could be a bit presumptuous there. Just don't put yourself in a box.

I like the melodies. Simple and chromatic, yet effective.
It's not bad at all. It's just missing something like a drive to go somewhere. It does seem a little repetitive but you have several different parts going on and it's only four and half minutes. There's enough there. Hmm I wonder...
The BPM is pretty close to 130 which is quick, but I wonder what would happen if you would increase the tempo to somewhere around 160-190. You can try having multiple tempos through your track if you like the pace of this, and I think that would help greatly.
Also, even though you have a BPM of about 130, you set the mood by having the snare play before the kick comes in which creates an illusion that the piece is at 65 BPM. Personally, because I hear the snare first, that is what lingers on my mind throughout as if that is the down beat. I wonder if that has something to do with why it seems repetitive. I would have tried reversing the roles of having the kick come in right away at the faster tempo and the snare to come in later.
I'm not exactly sure of the remedy, but it's worth a shot.

I'll give you a five to help counter that rating ;-)

deadbea7 responds:

i haven't been too sharp with my melodies when writing music. i just like to have a nice rhythm of weird sounds. i'm not sure why but that's just what my listening mechanisms like to hear (ears).

the reason for the snare to come in before the kick is that reason exactly. it's just something different. and yes, the snare is on the downbeat, along with the kick.

i'm not sure if making the bpm 160 would make this a house song lol it's a bit too fast for me. that's why all of my soungs are 128-140 and i have one that is 160, but it was a long time ago when i was experimenting with trap/club beats. i did actually try it at 160 to see what it sounded like. to me, it made things sound pushed together and crammed.

i'm actually working on some new stuff for this song right now. i feel like i can make it so much better. it's gonna take a while because i need to make a few new synths to go along with my others. i don't want them to sound out-of-place. i've already made a nice counter melody to go along with some of the melodies i have already. i even changed some of the melodies, only slightly, a couple of notes maybe. i even fine-tuned the kick to not sound so gross. plus i hardly even mastered this one. i just threw maximus on it, turned a few knobs and exported the mp3, didn't even make a wave file. so that's something i need to do for sure. i may even import it into audition to do some tweaking. i'm not sure yet.

[Reverie]

Well since we were on the topic of reviews/comments, I decided to head on over to take a listen of a few that you had.

First off, and based on several of your pieces, you really know how to create an attention grabber with these buildups. For example, Internet Dreams was pretty crazy listening to it on headphones. However, it sounded like your were going ambient with that, and I got a little disappointed. I want to hear what you could do if you tried Ambient, and I mean without any percussion. I think you can do pretty well with that.
This piece here is a bit ambient, and the only reason it isn’t is because of the rhythm aspect of it.
Overall this track isn’t bad, its just that I don’t listen to this style much to offer you any real analysis of it in the perspective of a fan to the genre. It’s repetitive, yes, but the atmosphere that you’ve provided in this track and others are good. You have great potential.
The mixing sounds great as everything sounds clear to my ears. I just want to recommend to you that thinking more of the composition side of your tracks will greatly help you. It doesn’t have to be extensive in chord progressions, but rather just think about exploring different motifs and melodies. It would really help the listener to be more engaged to this throughout. I mentioned before that your tracks start out quite interesting, but it needs something new after a certain point.
It only took about half way at 1:50 for me to start expecting something different. I mean even the interesting melody you had in the pad at the beginning just dropped off for some reason. Not sure why you chose to do that.
Four bar phrases is the typical thing to do as to when you decide to change it up. Doesn’t have to be exactly that, but anything longer will become wearisome.

This might be a bit odd to connect between the two, but I’ll share with you something I’ve learned from my uncle who happens to be a magician and a psychologist. My lesson learnt from him in regards to the “disappearing ball trick” is that you always show the viewer the ball when you first exchange it from one hand to the other. It is what you call the “set up” so the viewer can expect what is supposed to happen. So the second time you move the ball from the palm of your left hand to your right hand, you make it disappear and thus creating a surprised reaction. If the magician were to do the “set up” twice, automatically the audience will be expecting you to do some kind of trick at this point and therefore it would not be as effective. So by the third time if the magician then decides to make it disappear, it really becomes uneventful. It’s much harder to engage an audience when they’re already figuring out what is to happen before it is done. You’re probably wondering what that has to do with music, but I’m just talking about the psychology of the human mind right now.
As a musician, my point is that once you establish something (such as a melody), you have two options: you can play it a second time or play something completely different. If you were to play it twice, once repeated, your listener would expect that and it wouldn’t get boring, but rather it is expected for you to do so. It’s completely okay to let the listener be settled in by hearing a motif multiple times. If you play it only once, it can provide a jarring effect, or a pleasant surprise to the listener. However, when you play something three times in a row, you better believe by the fourth time playing it, the listener will have already expected you to have played something else. I would just never go beyond repeating something three times unless it is purposely meant to be minimalism. Once or twice is quite enough to establish your theme and to move on to something else.
I apologize if that was a bit too much. lol

Your works have potential, and although I’m not into Trance music, I would be more interested in this if you can vary your sounds up a bit more. Finish your thought process in your music.

deadbea7 responds:

this is the best thing i've read in a long time. this song is very old and i have learned a lot since. but i have stuck with the foundation that i taught myself. which is repetition. and the connection with the magician thing is crazy accurate. that has literally been on my mind since i first started making music. i just didn't know how to transition from one melody to another without sacrificing the intention of the song. on one song i did fairly recently i played around with this idea a bit. i wrote out 4 or 5 different melodies and basslines and just mixed them into one song. it sounds alright, but it's just cluttered. i still have so much left to learn about electronic music and what appeals to the ear. this is going to be very useful to me and will be taken to heart and i will use this to my advantage. i appreciate this very very very much.

[Loss]

There's a lot of depth here. Heard moments of hope followed by moments of dissonance. I can just listen to this on my bed as I attempt to tap into my subconsciousness.
In fact, you're going have to excuse me for a moment...

ZLEAP responds:

This is an attempt at doing the same.

Thanks.

[The Emaciated Sky]

This is one of those pieces that I’m going back to because of the catchiness of it. The rhythm in the percussion and the rhythm in the melody is alluring. The melodic contour of the flute is very tribal in my opinion, and the melodies in your arrangement are intriguing. At 2:45, I think that’s a vibraphone and what a great layer that provides. I can’t say that I didn’t like a particular thing about this piece, and even if the mix was a bit dry, it didn’t hinder my enjoyment.

Gokenshadow responds:

Thanks, man. I appreciate your comment.

[Chris Weeks - Wool]

Thank you. I think I’ll stay here for a little while.
Has a bit of texture gradient.

Kingbastard responds:

Cheers;)

[You'll Be Okay. I Love You]

This intrigues me, and I don't know why exactly-- the background story, the synth, and the percussion? All of the above perhaps. I just enjoy the atmosphere here in a way where I don't feel totally emotionally invested afterwards. But rather the role of the piece simply just is as it finds no obligation to my own perspective. ah I'm sounding a bit cryptic here, but I don't know what it is about it. Some kind of mystery to me that compels me to it.

floppypawss responds:

thanks for leaving a review! this piece was actually written for my father, who had a stroke recently and is in recovery. I was trying to convey a hopeful yet slightly melancholy sound. This piece has a lot of my emotions poured into it. i am glad you enjoyed it!

[Halcyon]

I like the tone you get out of your guitar. Real quick, though, I hear a duet for this piece. Sounds like another part could really make this full.

floppypawss responds:

I agree, it does need another part. This was an improvised exploration of the min7, dominant, 13, flat5 and maj7 chords. It's funny that you mention it because a trumpeter friend of mine recently heard this and said that he wanted to write a horn part for it. Maybe I'll expand on it one day. thanks for the review!